Most of my readers are Chinese and Russian spambots, and they plaster my comment section with intriguing insights, random notions and occasionally apt criticism. Here are some samples:
From Poker Poker Chips Chips: Hey, you used to write wonderful, but the last several posts have been kinda boring¡K I miss your tremendous writings. Past several posts are just a bit out of track! come on!
From Majorleaguecapscheep.com, a job offer: Hey, I’m impressed with your website management and writing skills, makes me wish I had started younger. I was wondering if you could please help me with my blog, it’s in a similar niche. I’ll be willing to pay you of course, how about $300 for 10 articles that are as good as the ones here, does that sound fair? I really need them today or as soon as you get this. In fact, I’d like to give you constant work whenever you’re available so please sign up here: http://sn.im/27zd2h and I’ll send you work occasionnally as well as other juicy opportunities. I’ll hook you up. Thanks! (And yes, this is a real person and I really do need your help)
From Glbl Csh Mchnine: Wowza, prbeolm solved like it never happened.
From freepornlovely: It’s much eseiar to understand when you put it that way!
From ijingsoftwarenow: This is way beettr than a brick & mortar establishment.
From Russia, with indifference: Мир сразу не похоронишь. Любовь — как нервные клетки: не восстанавливается. Служенье муз не терпит суеты. Но не многовато ли суеты вокруг служителей муз? Люди мостили – люди и ходят.
Love it when I can be helpful: Full of salient points. Don’t stop beleviing or writing!
This one shows unusual creativity, even if the spelling is suspect: Slam dunkin like Shaquille O’Neal, if he wrote informative arctiles.
And my all time favorite: Please back away from the computer right now. Of all the dag nab darn fool things I’ve read on the internet, this piece of mumbo jumbo takes the friggin cake. I wasn’t expecting “Ernest Hemingway”, but crikey mate, reading this is making my hemmerhoids flare up.